Are you concerned that your child isn't talking as much as you think he should be by his age? Are other children in your playgroup talking a lot more and putting words together more easily and following directions better? There might be more going on than just "he's not picking up words" or "he's just a late talker." A receptive language delay/disorder may be an underlying factor in why your child is not picking up words as easily as other children around him.

Late talkers often have a receptive language disorder that is overlooked. It makes sense that a chid can't use words that he doesn't understand. Words don't make sense to a child who is not understanding fully the meaning behind the words.

Children who have difficulty understanding language or processing language have difficulty following directions. This can easily be mis-diagnosed as a behavior problem both at home and at preschool or day care. You might think that your child understands just fine because he understands many words. The breakdown typically occurs, however, when it's all put together in longer utterances and when simple nouns that your child may know individually are combined with adjectives and verbs and prepositional phrases.

Some characteristics of children with comprehension or processing problems include the following:

• repeating the last couple words of a question instead of answering it
• ignoring questions
• not following more than a single step direction
• giving off target (unrelated) responses to questions
• shaking head  for yes or no instead of answering
• may understand the individual words and vocabulary, but not when it's all put together in a longer direction or question

If this sounds like your child, I strongly encourage you to have your child evaluated by a speech/language pathologist or early intervention specialist. Click here to learn more about this process. The earlier your child receives intervention for this, the better off he'll be and the chances of overcoming this specific delay with be greater.

Ways you as parents can help at home:

• teach your child how to use words and what they mean - instead of just teaching them to say words
• teach words in context and generalize across many contexts (if you're talking about the word "shoe", use the word when you are tying his shoes and when you are putting your shoes on and when you go to a shoe store and see shoes or when you look at a book with your child and come across shoes, etc.)
• exaggerate words and actions while teaching meaning
• exaggerate vowels instead of consonants (b-a-a-a-l instead of b-b-bal)
• when giving a direction, break it way down if necessary
• shorten your sentences when giving directions and asking questions
• model the answer to help them learn how to respond and what you're expecting
• tell your child to do something - if he doesn't do it or doesn't understand, show him and then if necessary physically assist him
• don't just teach your child nouns, also teach verbs (action words), adjectives (descriptive words) and prepositions (location words)

In a subsequent post, I will address asking and answering questions with your child and what types of questions should be mastered by what ages.

I hope this article has been helpful. Please fill in below with any comments or questions you may have on this topic.

Thank you

A while back I discovered a website that can be a great support for mom's in all types of situations. The site is http://www.cafemom.com. They have groups you can join on all sorts of topics. You can use forums to ask questions and get support that way or you can read questions and answers that have already been posted.

If you are reading this blog, here are some groups that you might find helpful: "Mother's of Toddlers with Speech Delays", "Mom's Helping Mom's with Special Needs Children", "babysign", "Making Sense of Sensory Processing Disorder", "Children with Speech Delays", "Raising Children with Down Syndrome", "Developmental Delays", "Children with Apraxia". There are of course many, many more groups and it's a great place to get support.

So check it out!!!

I recently attended a very interesting and eye opening training and thought it would be helpful to share some of the information. The training was on Crisis Prevention (http://www.crisisprevention.com) in the classroom (I work in preschool with special education children). The majority of the emphasis, however, was on how to identify anxiety in order to prevent a potential 'crisis' in the classroom.  The information I am sharing here is relevant for both parents and teachers of young children.

Anxiety is a normal part of development and tends to follow a developmental sequence. Infants may show anxiety (fearfulness) when a loud noise occurs or a sudden loss of physical support occurs. Young children between the ages of 9 months and 2 years often exhibit separation anxiety which is an indication of the development of a healthy attachment to caregivers.

This type of anxiety is worse for young children who have had either too few or too frequent separations from caregivers. Young children who experience this anxiety will be clingy and usually cry at the time of separation - and some may even become more tearful and upset when their parent comes back to pick them up even if they have had a good day in the meantime. Separation anxiety usually decreases between the ages of 2 and 3 years.

5 factors that may contribute to increased separation anxiety:

• change in child's routine
• change in family (new baby, divorce, etc.)
• child being sick
• change in caregiver or daycare or preschool
• child being tired

7 ways to support your child and possibly reduce separation anxiety:

• acknowledge how your child is feeling (i.e., "I get sad too when…")
• by saying "it'll be okay - I'll be back soon" - you are not validating your child's feelings
• try to be cheerful when you leave
• don't prolong your departure
• never sneak out - always say goodbye
• focus on the positive things that will happen when you are gone
• plan something special (even a yummy treat) for when you pick him up

Another anxiety seen in children is school anxiety. This is seen from young preschoolers on up.  Many young children have a fear of school and will resist going to school especially in the beginning of the year. For many this goes away as the fear of the unknown dissipates, but for some this fear persists and even gets worse. What confounds the problem is that young children are unable to put these fears into words and so they will often "act out" instead.

At home, this can look many different ways. Your child may not sleep well or be slow and apprehensive about getting dressed in the morning. He may be extra clingy and complain of stomachaches or headaches. His behavior may seem oppositional, but in actuality he is really fearful and anxious about going to school.

As parents, it's so easy and natural to want to take away the problem and the fear by saying something like "don't worry, you'll have fun today." How comforting is that to hear? Not very. This of a situation that you encountered that made you somewhat or very anxious. Does hearing "don't worry" help or is it more comforting to hear empathetic and understanding words? Of course the latter.

At school & daycare, it's important for teachers and caregivers to also know what anxiety in children looks like. If not identified and addressed, this behavior can escalate and turn disruptive and undesirable in the classroom.  On the other hand, a child's anxieties about school can cause uncomfortable shyness and this needs to be correctly identified as well.

8 behaviors to look for that may indicate anxiety in a child:

• fidgeting excessively
• excessive silliness
• fast rate of speech
• agitation
• avoidance and escape behaviors
• trembling
• looking away
• excessive crying / yelling / screaming

Empathetic Listening is the active process of accepting and confirming your child's/student's fears and it involves the following:

• give undivided attention
• always acknowledge the problem
• be non-judgmental & sensitive
• listen for feelings behind the behavior
• allow silence for reflection
• restate to help clarify their message (this helps them to communicate their feelings)
• an empathetic statement like "I get that funny feeling in my tummy too sometimes" can go a long way

For more reading on anxiety in young children, please refer to these two articles:
http://specialchildren.about.com/od/specialeducation/ht/anxiety.htm
http://school.familyeducation.com/back-to-school/anxiety/37623.html

I found a book that you may find helpful if you are dealing with separation or school anxiety with you child.